Goodbyes or until next times

There was an abruptness to its end

One which I did not foresee

But which now feels inevitable.

I remember thinking with the vulgarity and destruction of youth that I would not be happy until one of us were gone. So I left for a time, only to come back again. I had not changed. Destruction motivated me. Love and loneliness most of all, but destruction a close third.

I have been thinking it’s just as well we left

for I still have that destructive streak in me I can’t abolish.

One or the other. Not both.

We were no yin and yang. We were too similar in a way, and too far apart in the same breath. But I fear history will repeat itself. That the honey reserves you put in will be depleted and you will look up one day to see the pots empty and honey in your hair and in the creases of your skin. Destroyed by that which you have built, like a house falling in on its architect.

It is an odd feeling

Going through life

Without you,

But you helped me understand the monster inside of me

Though I am no closer to destroying it

Than I was before.

Gone

The gods have gone. They’ve left this planet without me – it’s the only explanation. Even kinsmit, god of love, has vanished from this earth.

In the early days, I searched every house for another living soul, but I haven’t checked any in months.  The bodies began to get to me; they looked so peaceful that each day became a battle I felt I would lose. I wanted to join them, of course, but hope stood in the way. My hope is waning now though, as is my sanity. We’re – or rather, “I’m” (I must get used to the singular) – a sociable crowd, us humans; apocalypses don’t bode well for our kind.

And then I heard it: a voice calling on the wind. I rushed towards it, trying to find its source, its middle, its end… any clue to locate it! but the voice was fading so I rushed back the way I came and saw… a human.

I should have known it was not so, for the alley was a dead end, just like this situation. Just like my life.

I stopped and he stopped a few yards ahead of me. He needed a good shave and his eyes were a little manic, but besides that, he looked fine. Beggars can’t be choosers, after all. He must have thought the same, for we both began running towards each other at once. As I raced closer, I realised he looked familiar but –

THUNK

– realised too late that he was me and I was he. I ran headlong into a mirror and was propelled backwards just as the mirror was propelled forwards. With horror and no way of changing my fate, I watched as it fell towards me. My head hit the cement and the mirror hit my head and before I knew it, the planet had lost its final inhabitant.

I took my last breath and lay there, still as death, awaiting my fate. Awaiting the gods to take me away – to heaven or hell I did not care; so long as the place was inhabited.

But all the waiting amounted to nothing, for I simply lay there, watching as nature sunk its claws into the world around me. Creepers wrapped around the mirror, hiding my reflection from me (much to my relief) but revealing flowers when the season was right. That is, until creatures took away my eyes and I could see no more. Dead and unable to move, but still waiting. In limbo.

Epically Awesome Award

awesome-award.jpg

 

Many thanks to the lovely Prashant for nominating me for this award. You should check out his blog – he writes brilliant poetry and prose on a range of subjects.

Rules of the Award

Display the Award in your post, mention your nominator, link back to them, answer 5 questions and nominate 5-10 people.

 

Here are ten of my favourite bloggers. I’ve tried to link to one of their posts I really liked, so please check them out:

fortunesexpensivesmile

siddiebowtie

ponderpoopparadoxical

Frederick Anderson

inkbiotic

birdlikebanter

mindfoxblog

wordsandfeathers

aplikestowrite

irvingpaulpereira

Special mention to Green Embers. He doesn’t do awards (and has already been given one of these), but I think he’s a great, witty blogger.

 

Q&A:

1. What made you choose WP as your blogging platform?

I had used Blogger and a few dinosaur-era blogging platforms before, but I didn’t like the designs and themes and there never seemed to be much of a community feel with them. Over the years I’ve been blogging on WordPress, I’ve felt more and more as though I’m a part of a group as opposed to a little dot floating in an ocean of prose.

2. Introduce yourself and tell us about your blog.

Hello! My name’s Jasmine. I never know what to write in these sections; it reminds me of when you’re in a new class with a new teacher and they make each student say something about themselves. I always hated that. I’ve been blogging on and off for over seven years (and have only recently written my one hundredth post – awful!). It’s a way for me to practise my writing and get feedback  whenever possible (seriously, be brutally honest, I won’t mind). If you look back over the years of my blog, you’ll see immediately how much my writing has changed. But I cringe looking back, so please don’t delve into the archives!

3. Are you a once in a while blogger or a daily one?

Until recently, I was posting at least three times a week. However, life is getting in the way a bit so I’ve slowed that down. I’m looking to get back into it once work and everything is settled. I really miss it, actually. It meant I set aside time to write creatively every day, or if not every day, then regularly.

4. Do you wish to publish and if so, what type of book?

I would love to. The way everything is going now, it would probably be a short story collection. I haven’t had a substantial enough idea to write a book about in a long time. I think I need to just keep persevering though and my inspiration will eventually come through. I would love to write a magic realist book if possible as that’s my favourite genre. But who knows what the future holds!

I wrote this a few days ago and have since had an idea brewing. I don’t know if I’ll pursue it or if it’ll come to anything, but it’s nice to have an idea at least!

5. What is your favourite thing to do besides write?

It’s probably a bit cliche, but I love to read. I also love learning new things, especially if it’s about languages (I’m learning Korean at the moment). Just words, man. I love me some words. Oh oh and travelling! Going to new places and experiencing new things is one of my favourite things, though I don’t do it nearly as much as I would like to.

 

Here are the questions:

1. What made you choose WP as your blogging platform?

2. Introduce yourself and tell us about your blog.

3. Are you a once in a while blogger or a daily one?

4. Do you wish to publish and if so, what type of book?

5. What is your favourite thing to do besides write?