There was an abruptness to its end
One which I did not foresee
But which now feels inevitable.
I remember thinking with the vulgarity and destruction of youth that I would not be happy until one of us were gone. So I left for a time, only to come back again. I had not changed. Destruction motivated me. Love and loneliness most of all, but destruction a close third.
I have been thinking it’s just as well we left
for I still have that destructive streak in me I can’t abolish.
One or the other. Not both.
We were no yin and yang. We were too similar in a way, and too far apart in the same breath. But I fear history will repeat itself. That the honey reserves you put in will be depleted and you will look up one day to see the pots empty and honey in your hair and in the creases of your skin. Destroyed by that which you have built, like a house falling in on its architect.
It is an odd feeling
Going through life
But you helped me understand the monster inside of me
Though I am no closer to destroying it
Than I was before.