Goodbyes or until next times (one)

There was an abruptness to its end

One which I did not foresee

But which now feels inevitable.

I remember thinking with the vulgarity and destruction of youth that I would not be happy until one of us were gone. So I left for a time, only to come back again. I had not changed. Destruction motivated me. Love and loneliness most of all, but destruction a close third.

I have been thinking it’s just as well we left

for I still have that destructive streak in me I can’t abolish.

One or the other. Not both.

We were no yin and yang. We were too similar in a way, and too far apart in the same breath. But I fear history will repeat itself. That the honey reserves you put in will be depleted and you will look up one day to see the pots empty and honey in your hair and in the creases of your skin. Destroyed by that which you have built, like a house falling in on its architect.

It is an odd feeling

Going through life

Without you,

But you helped me understand the monster inside of me

Though I am no closer to destroying it

Than I was before.

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Author: Jasmine

Hi, my name's Jasmine, I'm 25 and I live in London. This blog is simply to note down my current thoughts - got any opinions on what I write about (or if you simply want to drop me a line), comment me :)!

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