At first I brushed it off as some cruel social experiment; I expected some idiot from YouTube to jump out at me with a digital camera in hand, trying to capture my anger and relief. I walked out into the daylight, expecting what the man had meant to be immediately obvious outside the building. But it wasn’t.
Strangely enough, I wasn’t scared in the cell. I wasn’t even scared when my captor confronted me. But now… now that I’m in my own home with no sign as to why I’ll “do nicely”… now I’m scared.
I’ve been sat at my window all afternoon, just watching the day go by – expecting something to stand out which will make sense of the whole situation.
But nothing has yet.
I grabbed a bottle of whiskey from my collection, turned off the lights and headed back to the window. I felt safer in the dark, and the whiskey gave me a little Dutch courage.
All night I’ve been waiting and still nothing. I can’t sleep… I can’t eat. I don’t know what I can do or who I can turn to…
Apparently they found me in my apartment clawing the walls next to the window and speaking like Donnie from The Wild Thornberrys. They said I had had a psychotic break from lack of sleep and severe stress.
At least he can’t get me in here. I wish that woman in the next room would stop screaming at night, though.
A man approached me – small and harried-looking. He told me I was right where I needed to be and that I would hear from someone I was waiting to hear from soon. I don’t know if he was talking crazy or if he knew something about the man who held me hostage but I’m not sticking around to find out. I managed to sneak the medication from this totally loony patient who sits in the corner of the sitting room all day and night without saying a word. I have a few day’s worth. I think that should be enough.
Maybe I’ll wait another couple of days to make sure.
I sat in the sunshine near the fence, bottle of water right next to me and tablets accumulating in my pocket, creating a lumpy bulge which thankfully had gone unnoticed by staff.
Today’s the day: the perfect weather to leave this earth.
I took in the view: the squirrels chasing each other in the tree nearby, the sun shining its radiance down on me… I was happy.
I leaned back and tugged the tablets out of my pocket. Flinging my head back, I threw them into my mouth and chugged my water until they were all gone.
Composed, I screw the lid back onto my bottle, sat up and looked beyond the fence once more. I smiled, sure that I would be rid of my captor within the next few hours.
And then I saw it.
There was a figure watching me. He was half-hidden behind a tree, but just by looking at his exposed half, I knew it was him.
And he was smirking.
I knew then that this had been his plan all along: to drive me mad; to push me to the limits… to watch me… die?
A flourish of anger rose to my chest. “Nurse!” I called. “Nurse!” I rose to my feet and rushed inside, leaving the bottle of water behind in my haste. Thankfully a nurse was just walking down the hallway as I got inside, so I grabbed her arm and told her that I had had an overdose.
They carted me outside in a stretcher to take me to the hospital. I saw him watching, his face now filled with dismay. I raised my head and grinned at him. Then I raised my middle finger just before the ambulance doors closed.
I never saw him again after that.