Faith: Definition by the Free Online Dictionary
1. Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.
2. Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. See Synonyms at belief, trust.
3. Loyalty to a person or thing; allegiance: keeping faith with one’s supporters.
4. often Faith Christianity The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God’s will.
5. The body of dogma of a religion: the Muslim faith.
6. A set of principles or beliefs.
A while back, I lost all sense of the word. No, not religiously (I am not religious, for I haven’t yet found the correct path), but the Faith one holds for human beings.
It was probably triggered around May time, when I began looking over my shoulder wherever I went. I got paranoid to an escalated sense of the word; all it took was a sudden noise, and I was looking back the way I’d come, endlessly searching for something which seemingly wasn’t even there to begin with. Even when I was at home, I’d realise that any time, someone could break in, or else smash a window, grab a family member or myself, and simply kill one of us on the spot. All they needed was a knife – not even that, just something with a sharp edge – and they could cause damage beyond repair. These feelings carried on for a few months.
However, a while back, I was on the train returning home, when a boy began talking to me. All he wanted was a chat. Nothing else, just a chat. No meaningful relationship had to ensue afterwards. He just needed a chat. It turned out he was prematurely on his way back from his girlfriend’s house – he had turned up at her door, ready to spend a weekend wrapped up in her, when no sooner had he knocked on the door, than she had ended it with him, closing the door in his face. This was another blow to my Faith in humankind – what could have triggered that sudden psychological detachment? When a couple have been together for three years, yet all of a sudden, without an inkling, it ends, what does that say? The boy later told me that he had been in love with her, and that he had been planning for a while to propose to her around Christmas time.
The weird thing? I managed to find a silver lining in all those events – the thoughts I’d been having, the extreme state of flux which seems to transpire through every relationship…
To start off with the thoughts I had had, I realised that even though this were the case, isn’t it a miracle this situation doesn’t occur on a daily basis? Even though stabbings arise – as do thefts – someone does not randomly burst into each and every one of our houses every other day so as to kill us, simply because they can.
On the relationship front, I realised that although the person in question was hurting badly from the events which had led up an hour or so before I spoke to him, I gave him the time of day. And he seemed to genuinely cheer up after a quick talk about his feelings. So maybe we can be kind if we want to. Today, I saw the same thing happen, but with two completely different people. One sought out another for advice and a friendly shoulder. And the other one gave. Sometimes, it just takes that one person to change your whole perspective on life.
I guess I’ve got to realise that although everything has its downside, simply turn it around and it will be the right way again. Everything can be fixed if need be…